What is Enoughness?
Good question. I’ll share mine if you share yours!
This is the question I asked 60 individuals from different walks of life to answer in The Enoughness Sessions (www.EnoughnessSessions.com). What does it mean to you and how does it show up in your life?
I think it has fundamental similarities as well as fundamental differences for each person. And I think it’s valuable to take time to really think about it, define it and live into it for yourself. Find those similarities so you don’t have to find it alone. And find those differences so you can fully experience it for yourself. This blog and message surrounding Enoughness is meant to help in the contemplative and experiential venture.
Here’s my thoughts on the subject from my personal experience:
Enoughness is the experience that something central is restored. It’s about feeling fully alive.
Enoughness is a personal equilibrium that promotes self-actualization or living in true fulfillment and a fully expressed life.
Enoughness is the embodiment of your inherent worthiness. It’s an inner peace that can open you up to vast inner resources (creativity, capability, intuition, imagination, potential, skill and talent) as well as the natural will to wield those resources into a chosen life.
I discovered Enoughness in a Los Angeles city park at 2am. I was severely depressed and in deep emotional pain. I was at the point of considering taking my own life. I couldn’t hold on to it anymore and as I was walking home through this park, I collapsed.
I started weeping, punching at the ground, cursing life, screaming as loud as possible…anything I could do to fight. (I was lucky I didn’t get arrested!) I had no idea what I was fighting for. In retrospect, I was fighting for my life. It was like I was a caveman again, back to the beginning. Or an infant breaking through to find my first healthy breath.
It seemed I was fighting some invisible enemy. These days I call that enemy chronic feelings of NOT-enoughness and it’s nasty cousin, MORE-ness. Chronic feelings of lack, insecurity, emptiness, doubt, uncertainty and confusion. If you’re human, you know the feeling! And at this late night moment in the park, I’d had enough of not-enoughness and more-ness.
After I let it all out, I looked up to find the entire park illuminated. This was not an external light but a light from within. There were giant rocks and boulders, big trees and vibrant grass all around…seemingly illuminated and talking to me. I felt a profound and sudden warm connection to everything around me. Everything became very alive and very animated. All was extremely quiet and still while at the same time in constant movement.
On a personal level, I felt a deep and natural peace as well as a blissful excitement, all at the same time.
I sat stunned in this state of being for I don’t know how long. Eventually, I got up and walked home, not knowing this was any kind of real, lasting or repeatable experience. After all, moments earlier I was considering suicide.
This momentary reprieve was enough in and of itself. In that moment of clarity though, I did something I’d never done before or thought to do. I consciously chose not to die but to live. Taking my own life seemed like a definitive, empowering, personal action. It didn’t seem dark and dreary but simply relieving. And it seemed like the only option. Choosing life just as dramatically didn’t cross my mind. Until this moment.
I demanded my life back from whatever it was that depressed it, stifled it and blocked it. I chose to live. That was all I could muster in that moment. But it was certainly…enough.
Later in my life, I purposefully revisited that moment of clarity I had in that park. (I didn’t know what to call it back then). I was already a diligent meditator and would spend time contemplating the experience in meditation.
I eventually started to essentially conjure gently just the feeling rather than any visual details. And then I’d sit in it as long as I could. It grew (subtly) stronger every time. It became a new and potent medicine to my suffering.
Then I began to ask a specific question:
What is the name of this feeling? What is the name of the feeling behind that moment of clarity and how do I live from it now? In other words, what is the opposite feeling of something like chronic dissatisfaction? What is the antonym of emptiness? And the name Enoughness popped through.
Once I named it, the experience became easier to conjure.
Later I decided to further my on-going spiritual studies and get a masters equivalent in The Evolution of Consciousness. While it was certainly no cure to get into deep study, the focused studies helped me read about similar experiences to Enoughness in the spiritual, religious, psychological, philosophical, metaphysical and new thought/ancient wisdom teachings of the ages. It allowed me to extrapolate on the philosophy. It gave me confidence to stand in it.
I wrote a 60-page ‘dissertation’ on Enoughness to complete my certificate. And later, I developed the philosophy into a full-length manuscript with a touch of both heaven and earth, a touch of theory and practicality to round it out.
In Enoughness, I’ve found that there’s three support systems that contribute to the realization of it:
1. The Experience of Enoughness. Talking about it and sharing both the story of my depression and the healing moment of clarity does wonders to remind me as well as help others in the experience of Enoughness. Allowing yourself to experience it purposefully helps to ground it in your life.
2. The Science of Enoughness. Sometimes we need science to feel confident about spiritual things. We want details on how to prove and realize a vision. I looked to scientists of the mind to help find some of those details. Abraham Maslow is a Humanistic Psychologist. He’d say that if you focus on ailment, you’ll produce ailment in humanity. Focus on health and potential, you’ll produce that as well. Maslow also refers to a Peak Experience where “an individual feels at harmony with himself and his surroundings (or her)”. And that was generally my experience at 2am in the city park. Another author I refer to scientifically is Mihaly Csikszentimihalyi, a Hungarian psychology professor, and his book Flow. It refers to a ‘flow-state’ that he found in high performers, athletes and musicians mostly. Some aspects of the state of Flow relate to the state of being of Enoughness. “The idea of Flow…is a feeling everyone has at times, characterized by a feeling of great absorption, engagement, fulfillment, and skill—and during which temporal concerns (time, food, ego-self, etc.) are typically ignored.” While Enoughness is centered on a state of being while the Flow-state is one of doing, the characteristics/feelings are similar.
3. The Practice of Enoughness. I created a practice to help anchor the experience of Enoughness. It includes practices in three distinct arms of fulfillment – Inner Peace, Activating Potential & Outer Accomplishment. In each arm are measurable practices that invoke and support the experience of Enoughness.
Enoughness has also become a conversation. I developed The Enoughness Sessions, an online platform, to start and continue the conversation around Enoughness with people from all walks of life. I want to talk about what true fulfillment looks like and what a fully expressed life looks like. I want to promote the feeling of peace as well as the motivation to take action toward realizing unique ideas and ‘dreams’. And I want to continue to soak in it every day to help me and anyone else in need to never forget it again!
So when I ask myself today, what is Enoughness?
I say it’s my chance to have another life within a lifetime. It’s a chance to continually explore and pioneer the inner territory of my humanity, a spaciousness I know and love so much. And it’s a chance to remind people of their own value, potential and ability to take action and live truly fulfilled and fully expressed.
I find that Enoughness is a compass rather than a destination, a source rather than an effect, and a beginning rather than an end. It’s been a blessing and a gift for me. I hope it can be my gift to you.